What Really Are Friends?

I just got into a big conflict with my friends. Well, technically it isn't big, but though I say it isn't, it's affecting me emotionally. The situation is this: one of my best friends MS invited me to go to junior prom (wow, already?) because she doesn't want to take her boyfriend. And then another friend who is also dateless wants to tag along.

There wouldn't be any problem, except that friend is AS.

MS and AS and I all went to the same elementary school, and even back then I had issues with her. They have only become amplified since high school (and I hate to bring this up as high school drama, but come on, I go to Stuy, there isn't much drama besides cat fights and nerd wars). I've been in actual fights with her and I've never really repaired the burned bridge, but she is so clueless and so full of herself that I cannot bring myself to mend the bond. Today she claimed "it takes two to tango" but it also takes two sides to be friends.

She doesn't really know that I dislike her, but I don't want to say it (not because I don't want to hurt her feelings - I don't really care at this point) but because she would argue and complain and bitch to everyone, claiming that she is in no way wrong.

AS is really smart, as in leadership positions, track team, good grades, but she lacks the attitude for me to admire her by. Yes, I admit I am jealous of a lot of people who are smarter than me, but I respect them if they have a good character, but she doesn't. No one has ever told her that her personality turns people off, her superiority complex is infuriating and even if she has a laid out road to a good future, it means nothing if you cannot learn some humility.

So, going back to the situation, I said no.

And we got into a whole argument (it was quite nonsensical. She argued that she had the right to tag along and I said she did, but she asked if she could and I said I didn't want her to. It would have been more simple to say "no, because I hate you," but I guess I just wasn't up for it. In a way, we have a love/hate relationship. I love that she likes yaoi like me, but I hate her for everything else. Including that fact that she doesn't pick up that I hate her.

And now MS thinks I'm being irrational as well, because junior prom dates aren't exclusive, since we are just going as friends, but I don't want to associate with AS and MS doesn't understand that hate can only be tolerated for so long. Especially since I already backed out of the college trip to Dartmouth and other schools once I found out AS wanted to tag along.

So I'm not exactly sure why I am upset. In a way I understand why MS thinks I'm being irrational, but at the same time, I believe my arguments are legit too.

I want to talk to people about it, but especially now, no one wants to hear about your troubles. No one cares about how you feel.

And even if there are some people willing to listen, none of them are willing to listen to me.